I went for a run today, dragging my ass from sofa, out through the door on the evening streets of Hamburg. My motivation was low, my energy was low and I struggled to complete simple and familiar 5km loop route I often used to do here.
Was it worth it? What did I gain from it?
The answer is clarity - I gained some clarity for my thoughts.
You see, running is for me not only a simple matter of exercising, pursuit of fitness, better times, longer distances. I’m not saying those things aren’t important.
They surely are.
Tet, there is more to almost every run I make.
For me going for a run, is a great way to recharge mentally. I find it soothing and comforting, to be alone with my thoughts and to let them flow freely.
It is some some sort of meditation. But it also feels different to the normal meditation you would do at home, sitting still, breathing, letting thoughts come & go.
In running, I can deep dive and focus. The thoughts come naturally and I can be with them, I can surface them, I can question and ask. There are no distractions around, no people (when running alone), no social media. The rhythm of your breath, footsteps landing one the ground one after another create calming pattern inviting you to shift your attention from outside to inside.
So, even though the run was a struggle, I’m glad that I went out. I returned focused and oriented, knowing more about myself than just few hours earlier.
Even when feeling physically tired, I had more mental energy.
What does this all mean to me?
I think today I’ve gained clarity about what is it that I’m looking from life. What brings me joy and satisfaction. What I want to pursue more. It seems not far, what I’m currently at, yet I feel I was on a wrong path in last over last year. Thanks to COVID-19 whole world came to stop. It left us staying at home way too much, forced us to limit ourselves, take the back seat and hibernate waiting for the better times. And is seems like waking up and recovering is not that simple.
Stay of the path.